A MODEST PROPOSAL FOR DEALING WITH TRANSITION AND CHANGESeptember 1997
The Greater Kingston Area (Greater Kingston Area ) is facing a bleak future in which it is anticipated that there will be a loss to the community of $50,000,000.00 per year in government spending. It is known that approximately 23,000 households in the Greater Kingston Area rely DIRECTLY on employment within the public sector of the economy. The paramount task facing the Kingston Area is to deal with the economic changes resulting from downsizing by creating a plan which will ameliorate the devastation which these changes would wreak on the community.
The key strategy in the proposed response plan is the attraction of Technology Business (TB) to the Greater Kingston Area. This is predicated on the if–you–build–it–they–WILL–COME school of thought. (Notwithstanding the fact that Technology Business jobs don’t currently rank in the top twenty categories of employment here and having good wages for Technology Business workers, such as those turned out by such organizations as &TEC and the like, may offend the sensibilities of Technology Business MANAGERS which presumably will wish to operate as parsimoniously as possible.)Recently, a handful of coding positions resulted in almost 900 résumés being received – presumably making much needed work for Canada Post! This also indicated that more than one out every fifty working people in the Kingston Area want to work in the Information Technology sector AND feel qualified for these jobs.
To attract Technology Business into the Greater Kingston Area it is critically important to know what elements influence executive administrators – specifically those decision makers which have control of where the Technology Business will be located. This is not so simple or intuitively obvious as it may seem.
Business, unlike some government leaders is not always as predictably influenced by fancy suits, great personalities and fast talking consultants.
One might feel it only natural that people would create Technology Business where they were born or where they grew up... perhaps even where they were educated – assuming they were educated and that they actually enjoyed the experience!
If they have emigrated from elsewhere on the globe they may wish to create Technology Business in the city where they first settle – particularly if they have relatives or other contacts in that community.
Some people suggested that Technology Business will grow where people can network with those of like interests and thereby form nurturing partnerships. (Well, nurturing is perhaps too strong a word to use in the brutal, predatory, survival of the fittest business world of the ‘90s)
There may be many, many other factors involved such as the type of social life available through entertainment, sports, recreational or cultural opportunities or the enjoyment of a pleasant climate and the availability of suitable accommodation – a fine, grand home – having good prospect for substantial resale value.
One might also expect quality health care could be of concern, or perhaps well regarded schools and personal safety has some merit. And there is no doubt about it: successful people starting a Technology Business will want qualified service for their Porsche and great golf courses!
Now that we have an idea of what a creator of Technology Business might look for within the Greater Kingston Area , you may ask: how do we grow this environment in Kingston? (Especially if you had a rather weak grip on the English language.)This is the real challenge! Reality seems to be getting in the way of success. And under normal conditions reality matters! (Some obvious exceptions come to mind: sport, law, entertainment and political correctness.)
Our best hope may well rest with the Jobsian field – named for that great American entrepreneur Steven Jobs. The Jobsian field it may be recalled from computer science, has the capacity to distort reality. This has long been theorized to be the basis of the early success of the Apple computer: while under the influence of the Jobsian or reality distortion field, otherwise normal people were observed to conclude that useful things could be accomplished by having a small computer on their desk – before the reality distortion field people understood that you must know about half-adders, bi-stable multivibrators, flip-flops, microcode, 2's complement number representation and double word precision floating point to effectively use a computer for anything more complex than warming up the office air a few degrees.
With large reality distorting fields in place over the Greater Kingston Area , we could easily convince people to establish all forms of business here and even to pay their fair share of taxes! For example that mendacious oligarchy – the vainglorious Queen's University could be made to appear as an open, enlightened, innovative, creative nurturing environment!!!
Our cold wet miserable winters could be experienced as though we were really in the South of Spain and Princess Street would become the Champs Élysées!
It may be necessary to procure portable units to address the problem of those Technology Businesses which are not willing to come within range of the Greater Kingston Area to experience the reality distortion field.
If this proves too technologically challenging for local engineers I do have some back-up proposals to keep that all important positive attitude while we wait for a solution and life passes us by–
- Metered doses of prozac and alcohol could be injected into the Greater Kingston Area water supplies – specifically targeted to zones where employment has dropped below dangerous levels and depression or riotous behaviour and frustration driven rage might well erupt.
- The population could be trained for jobs which don't exist – with the hope or expectation they will leave immediately after graduation. (Opps! I guess that's being tried here already.)
- All the unemployed people in the Greater Kingston Area can organize and take themselves hostage! (No real change in position or attitude is required since the unemployed are already hostage to the whims of the business/government corporate alliance.)
With thousands of unemployed lined up shoulder-to-shoulder along the unpaved shoulders of the 401 perhaps some compassionate Technology Business or Government might be persuaded to enter the Greater Kingston Area and create those much sought after Technology Business jobs.
There would need to be an algorithm developed to enforce order on the mass of humanity facing self-sacrifice in the passing lane – it would be very important that everyone not fling themselves into the traffic flow all at once – that could cause some of the vehicles to stop and could prevent everyone from having their chance to take advantage of opportunities for change.
- Should no Government or Technology Business come forward and create jobs – the resulting road-kill would almost certainly improve the asphalt road surface beyond its current state and indirectly enhance Canada’s competitive business position abroad! Another win-win scenario! (NOTE: It would be important to ensure the numbers of people being squished didn't trigger any substantial fall in the real unemployment rate which would of course force the Bank of Canada to ratchet up interest rates.)
Budget in surplus
and bean counting...
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With thousands of unemployed lined up shoulder-to-shoulder along the unpaved shoulders of the 401 perhaps some compassionate Technology Business or Government might be persuaded to enter the Greater Kingston Area and create those much sought after Technology Business jobs.
There would need to be an algorithm developed to enforce order on the mass of humanity facing self-sacrifice in the passing lane – it would be very important that everyone not fling themselves into the traffic flow all at once – that could cause some of the vehicles to stop and could prevent everyone from having their chance to take advantage of opportunities for change.