G R E E T I N G S! "X"—LING?
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THE 
MILLENNIUM CONTEST!
4,500,000,000 years evolving around in this same location
—and where are we?
—and where are we?
Earth? Now what kind of name is E A R T H?
It's D I R T!
"I come in peace — from the planet DIRT?"
R E E E E E E E E E E E E L Y!
Every country... well on EARTH has a different term for the place!
This can't continue!
Have we no ORDER on this planet?!
Now that was too much order!
ALL the other planets in this solar system (except Uranus) have really spiffy names -- and we should have one too!!!
A universal (®Universe is taken) name for this planet.
How can we be expected to respect and preserve something that's practically ANONYMOUS!
...SO HERE'S THE PLAN: I'll tabulate the responses received up to December 31, 2999
...and then give this planet a REAL name!
Now there 996 years
until the newer and improved
THIRD Millennium Contest ends.
FREE 
BEER will be served to attending world leaders after the ceremony!
Or you can use the COUPON! Or just write me a note!
Have a piece of PIE with that beer?
Read the rules!
Please get the FAQs — just ONE vote per homosapien
Have a piece of PIE with that beer?
NOTE: TEST OF SKILL WILL BE ADMINISTERED
BEFORE PRIZE CAN BE CLAIMED!
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Subject to ALL local, state and galactic restrictions.
APPENDIX "A"
