READ
THIS!

THERE
COULD
BE
SOME
REASON...

What's
  i
  t
  h

NOWHERE?

etc...

There's several hundred HTML documents, many hours of sound clips and direct access to countless images! (Since I quit counting five years ago)

It takes about a day to see everything — if you can find it! (Excluding transfer/loading times)

About images are my original animated gifs — as if you really care!
Over 90% of the photos are exclusively my own — painting, photography and digital treatment.

Do you think there's too many multi-branched or redundant links around here? RELAX! I've tried to control that impulse — but I give in most of the time to time and break my rules.

HEY! They ARE called HYPERlinks!!! Yes, I hear it causes some people stress.

If you get JAVA errors — I REALLY feel your pain. Not everything works for everyone all the time... but it worked on my system.

Sounds are compressed all the way to HELL and back again — low quality GSM 6.10/8000 Hz mono (compressed audio data conforming to the ETSI-GSM Under windows use SNDREC32.EXE to play them if they aren't player.)

EVERY PAGE SHOULD HAVE BACKGROUND SOUND

Photos: many are cut right down to the bone YOU MUST USE SMART IMAGE DITHERING to see acceptable displays. They are compressed to the bone — since much of the site dates back to the 14400 modem days and some of the pages could take three minutes or more to load even with the compression tricks I used (Yes I know that's a long, long, long time ago in a GALAXY far far away) Without smart dithering enabled the image quality REALLY sucks!!!

Site development was done in text edit mode -- some dates to OS/2 ;~(

The original site started out as IBM OS/2 browser compatible which explains certain aspects of the design — again — as if you really care! (I don't recall anyone in seven years that has:)

Questions, issues or comments? (I don't recall anyone in seven years that anyone has) Just email me! I will eventually reply!

PS: If MPEG's didn't take up so much space, I'd add many more of them, I am even working some interesting "morphs": a guy who invented and sold barbed wire from the back of a wagon in the late 1800's named Bill Gates into some other guy named Bill Gates who sold something called "software" in the late nineteen hundreds's. There's gotta be a connection.

PPS: As for terms of use: this website is not to be used in para-military combat operations in any part of Frontenac County during a month which begins with "F" and may not be used as a food substitute.(Except in Washington DC and those international FREE TRADE ZONES designated by the IMF, the CIA or under the MAI.)

DANGER: DO NOT EAT CHICKEN AND SURF HERE!

 

Please! Smoke only in designated areas.

---

FAQ

---

---