Esprit Frequently Asked Questions

(after attending only three small car shows)

Q: What kind of car is that?

A: Its a Lotus

Q: Who makes Lotus?

A: Um Lotus, no Bugatti, wait a minute, I remember, its Proton.

Q: Oh, that makes it a Chevrolet then?

A: Right.

Q: How fast does it go?

A: 215 Kilometers per hour (which converts to 359,102.8 Furlongs per Fortnight for the US/UK folks still using antique units of measure)

Q: Where is the engine anyway?

A: Sorry but that is a secret which the British MI5 won't let us divulge.

Q: What is a manual choke?

A: It is a choke which you control yourself.

Q: What is a choke?

A: That's too hard for me. Ask my wife.

Q: Does this car go under water?

A: No. Lotus wanted too much for that option so I just settled for the concealed rear firing .50 calibre machine guns.

Q: Is it hard to drive with the steering wheel on the wrong side?

A: Not really although while I am thinking about gear selection with my left hand I am frequently embarassed by teenagers in their mom's automatic escort leaving me in their dust.

Q: I'll bet you really get the attention of the women in that car, right?

A: According to my wife (who has followed me home many times) the only real attention I get is from pre-pubescant males.

Q: Is that a real Lotus or just a kit car?

A: A real Lotus IS "just" a kit car!.

Q: How much does a car like that cost?

A: Before I answer that, how much do you think it should cost?

Q: Oh probably 50,000 Dollars?

A: Sold!


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